Apparently it’s shocking when a “feminized” woman likes other women, I’m not allowed to have long hair or !? I was already well-aware my body was changing and was working very hard with my doctors trying to pinpoint my overly-fast metabolism and low-energy levels. I was put on a regiment of high calorie intake every 2 hours just so I wouldn’t faint! (Forget working out, I had zero energy!) With troubles in my relationships, everything just seemed to fall apart after I left the toxic work place. Isn’t it interesting how toxicity can be addictive? Because I sure felt my purpose in life dwindled completely after so much was taken away from me, and out of my control.I spent weeks lurking under my covers wondering if I’d ever feel confident again, as everyone looked at me as if I way laying on my death bed - I began to do the same. It’s hard to regain one’s self worth when your whole life you hear from one important figure,“WHAT IS THIS?”, grabbing my hips, “YOUR BODY HANGS OUT OF YOUR PANTS!”To that same person quoting,“OH MY GOODNESS, YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE A SKELETON!” I couldn’t take the pain every time I looked in the mirror anymore, I feel as if though my aesthetics were the only way people offered help. I turned to social media to post sad things in hopes for guidance, and luckily for me; Teri got ahold of me.Like I said before, I was nervous as all hell to see these photos as it’s been over a year since I modeled, I have never been this thin in my life nor have I never not been able to recognize myself.I was nervous I wasn’t going to like what I saw, I was nervous for the feeling of disappointment my heart would carry if I stared into my own reflection and heard voices in the back of my mind ask if I was “OK”. BUT then I got the Dropbox. With sweaty palms and about two hours of convincing myself “fuck everyone else” over and over, I dove into the album. And ladies;It Was Glorious. That’s probably the first time I’ve taken pictures at this stage in my life (yes even selfies) and didn’t feel absolutely horrified to look at them! I even got a laugh out of a certain shot, because I’m so focused on my diameters I never even noticed the small beauty mark resting slightly above my knuckle on my middle finger. It’s like my SKIN is even saying “fuck everyone else”!As a model it’s my job to work with the team to create their masterpiece, and you can lose yourself (or your aesthetic) in those moments but I find it rewarding to make the vision a reality.Sometimes it’s crazy seeing yourself and being unrecognizable to your own reflection; but you end up learning new things to appreciate about your ever changing body, and it’s great to have this shoot and Teri to continue to burn that into our brains.I hope others are just as willing to see me as “Attieh who’s a wee bit thin right now” and not “Attieh is running to the bathroom to void the lunch she just ate”.If you haven’t already, link up with Teri. Even a few hours of her time can reopen your eyes.If you are interested in telling your story through powerful imagery and an empowering experience, send me an email!
You know how when your expecting a phone call with some “news” but you’re really unsure whether it’ll be “good” or “bad”?Well that’s exactly the kind of anxiety my stomach pitted into waiting for these photos...A quick tidbit - Teri and I have worked together for years and she’s ALWAYS made me beyond comfortable and ecstatic for the outcome. Being a part of her team gave me opportunities that I’d definitely shy away from without her previous support. I even began loving my birthday-suit over anything else I own, thanks to the #BoudyBabes!Anywhoo, back to before...For over a year I’ve been struggling towards the path of a healthy mentality. My previous job wore me down to feeling absolutely worthless, I began putting my boss’ needs above my own: all while being belittled for my efforts, ridiculed for having a mental illness, and mocked at my “lack of weight gain” (just to name a few).Even clients were starting to get super invasive and ask me things along the lines of “Oh my, you’re nothing! What does your doctor have to say??”(Guess what? My employer would just shrug it off.)So, young Attieh who’s already going through major changes in her life, (I finally came out to my family and the world in October!) is starting to feel the pressures of “looking healthy”.
This just shows you exactly how far behind I am on posting things....I am doing a throwback post to when I traveled to Portland with my bestie Stephanie and photographed some amazing babely babes in our airbnb. The airbnb we chose for our little vacay/shoot time was perfect....the right amount of kitsch, cute, great amenities, and perfect location for pretty much all that we wanted to do. On our first day of shooting, I invited a handful of babes and fellow photographers over to the airbnb for a play date where we essentially ran around in our lingerie and photographed each other and the models. It was perfectly amazing. Because we were in Portland, I really wanted to capture the gloomyiness that is standardly prevalent in January...HOWEVER, we had some of the clearest skies they have seen!! If you have been to my studio, though, you know I am capable of making even the brightest spaces look amazing dark and moody, so 'twas no issue on this lovely day! I photographed the gorgeous Kiersten Williamson, a curve model from the Portland area and Ella Unusual, a curve model from the Seattle area (which you saw in our
When Kayla gave me full license to design her session, I knew exactly what I wanted. An amazing Great Gatsby themed session! Forever I have wanted to create a headpiece that was covered in jewels and broaches, so this was my chance to make it happen! I partnered with our friends at Noir Cosmetic Studio to achieve the epic hair and makeup look for Kayla. Regardless of the era, I love to photograph the strength in women...the bad asses that created their destiny and lived their best lives and Ms. Gatsby was no different. Here's what Kayla had to say about her session:
Last week I had the pleasure of heading to Camp Do More in Ontario, just 2 hours outside of Toronto. This would be four days full of meeting with like minded boudy photogs, shooting, modelling, getting eaten by mosquitoes, and educating others on how my silly brain works to help empower women through photography. Because I was a little late in making my presentations, I didn't even have time to think about what I was going to shoot so I was little sad, but thought the break might be nice so I could focus on just teaching and meeting some fab humans. Well, fast forward to the few days I spent in Toronto pre-camp with my buddy Taylor (the one on the left above) and we visited this sweet ass vintage shop. After perusing a few racks Taylor held up this old child's size Cub Scout shirt and my brain took it and ran. We then sussed out an additional outfit for her friend Edith (one of the other models at camp...the one on the right above). We found vintage socks, vests, berets, scarves, etc. to make this naughty Cub Scout shoot come to life.After being inspired by all the other speakers at the Camp, I wanted to take something that Boon Ong (whom I did the workshop in Calgary with) does. His blog posts are treated as a full experience and he finds a song that fits for each one and as the music plays, while scrolling through the posts you get immersed in it. It becomes like a still movie...I think I may do this for all my babes going forward. It truly adds to the experience of the images. Anywho, feel free to "watch" our little story unfold below and if you are a photographer interested in coming to Camp Do More next year, we are half sold out on tickets, but you can get yours 
Babe: Miss SamMakeup: Envy Beauty Makeup ServicesHair: Hair Seduction
Miss Sam is one of the most inspiring women I know and I couldn't wait to shoot her editorial session. When she presented me with pin up, I'm not gonna lie, I was a little worried because I don't really shoot pin up in the way pin up is meant to be shot. I set that expectation with her and told her we would do pin-up inspired but it would still be a Teri-shoot! Sam's sister did her amazing hair and Nicole gave her the epic makeup look to cap it off. When Sam unleashed her bag full of clothes it was red, pink and her favorite color: Cheetah.And then she asked if she could smoke for a shot and I was very much into it so we had a bit of a party in the tub!Anyhow, I had a ton of fun and hope I helped Sam execute her pin up fantasies! She is adorable and super sassy so I think she did amazing!
I think I have done 4 boudoir shoots with Teri now , and a couple of videos. Each experience taking me out of my proverbial bubble and forcing me to see myself the way others see me and the way I need to see myself my journey that Teri has taken me on and has lead for me and so many other woman on Self Acceptance, Self Love and Body Love . So when Teri said "Ok pick an Editorial theme" , I didn't even have to think about it . I knew I wanted a pin up/Rockabilly inspired shoot .(she brought me paper print outs of her inspo!) That is the style I have loved and subtly have worked into my everyday style and wardrobe . Everything we shot was from my closet . I always loved the image of being sweet and innocent with that edge that comes with the whole era . The most noticeable difference with Editorial was well I had a hell of a lot more clothes on for this shoot for the most part (Teri did get me into my bra and panties but I was still in a coat.) It was fun to play with the lights and props. Nicole did some super glamorous makeup and used brighter color on my eyes. The direction during this shoot was different too, a lot less positional direction and more attitude direction ..Less boobs up back arched more show me that Sass . Teri said I need you to really channel that image, that style, that attitude you want to portray. I got to play a part , remove my reality and embrace the fantasy and create the image I had seen in ads and in movies and most notably in the incredibly cheeky and sexy cartoon Betty Boop that I have tattooed on my leg and have shrined in my home. That is how my name "Betty Boob" came to light I got to play my version of her which has been my forever fantasy and I loved every minute of it . Now only if I can figure out how to do the Victory Rolls in my hair everyday . 
